Here's another reason that dealing with others can be a challenge when you're trying to manage a life with lupus, taken from my book, Despite Lupus:
2) You may be more sensitive
The magnitude of what you’re grappling with goes far beyond what those around you can see on the surface. The mental and emotional strings attached to what you do (or don’t do) are as good as invisible. With every suggestion they make, urging you to slow down, you see sharp scissors carelessly waving in the wind. Where they see easy adjustments, you see your life being ripped apart. Not only do you feel that your abilities are being tested, but so are your feelings of adequacy and worthiness. What good are you if you can’t accomplish the things you think you should? Being asked not to work so hard or do so much is like being told to break off a chunk of who you are and flush it down the drain. It seems ludicrous to you, and it probably feels like harassment.
Realize you are more emotionally vulnerable than you were before lupus, perhaps more than you’ve ever been before. Managing your emerging sensitivity is a learning process that cannot be accomplished overnight. You may make mistakes in the way you respond to comments and suggestions and that’s okay. For now, try to field those frustrating comments one at a time and know that the longer you’re on the path to wellness, the better you will become at deflecting those suggestions that infuriate you.