Friday, March 23, 2012

Good decisions can be habit forming

Remember when I referenced Deirdre's nap time tantrums a few posts back, and the fact that we had successfully gotten over the tantrum phase? Good news is that we are still in the clear...she's still napping like a champ. And I have to say - the lack of resistance with which she's going to bed makes it seem like she doesn't even know HOW to throw a tantrum. It's as if that modus operandi never existed for her.

I'm thrilled that good nap time etiquette has become a habit for her. I'm sure given a vacation, illness, or a whole host of other reasons, she might have a setback. But for now, I'm enjoying her compliance.

And it reminds me how much longer it took me to accept my own nap time. Back in 2004, when I started integrating a daily nap into my routine, I wasn't happy about it. I knew I needed to rest - that terrible lupus fatigue was just too much to combat without it - but it took all the strength I had to haul my body upstairs and get into bed. I fought it - physically and emotionally. All I felt as I trudged up to bed (besides feeling dead tired) was that no other 30 year old had to take a nap in the middle of the day. Nobody else I knew had to miss out on the most productive part of the day. And no one else had family and friends breathing down her neck about taking a silly old nap. Naps were for babies...and, as it turns out, lupus patients who are attempting to keep their lupus fatigue at bay.

And I wish I could say it took me as short a time to give in to nap time as Deirdre. But it didn't. It took months, if not a year, before I began to go to bed gracefully. I figure Deirdre only had 3 years of obstinance to fight. I had 30!

That said, for the past several years, I've become a napping pro. I know how and when to schedule my nap around a day's events, I can tell how long of a nap I'll take on any given day (it's always between an hour and a half to 2 hours, but on the days when I predict it will be more or less, it usually is!), and I can rattle off the list of benefits to anyone who will listen.

And yes, as of today - I look forward to my nap. I have come to appreciate everything it stands for and everything that it enables me to do. I never thought I'd say this, but my nap has become a habit, and a good one at that!


2 comments:

April Mathis said...

As I have only been diagnosed with sle lupus about 18 months, I find your blog very comforting. This has been a very tough road and just knowing others out there DO have my daily struggles is a great feeling.

Sara Gorman said...

April - Thanks so much for your comments! The first year and a half after diagnosis can be so hard - so much adjustment and so much to learn...about lupus, about yourself. Feel free to check back anytime - I have plenty of trials to relate, and I'm sure you can learn from my mistakes, hopefully making your next 18 months a little bit easier! Take care, until then.